10 Steps to Take Before Conflict Arises at Your Church

Last week I had the privilege of speaking to a group of church leaders in Nashville on the subject of church conflict. As a survivor of conflict, I shared with them insights I gained from the situation I faced. I want to share them with you.

1. Do not say it cannot happen to you. I am convinced that no matter how strong and influential you and your congregation might be, Satan can orchestrate conflict. I remind myself, if it can happen to Jonathan Edwards after 24 years as the pastor in Northampton, it can happen to anyone.

2. Take all threats seriously. When someone says, "I will ruin you," believe that is his or her intention. Then, take every step you can to deal with it. Ignoring it will only allow things to get worse.

3. Take pre-emptive steps. Pastors can do three things to minimize potential conflict. First, clarify expectations on the front end. If you have a way of doing things, or you will not come unless certain conditions are agreed upon, then put that in a "Memorandum of Understanding" and have the church vote on that when they vote on you. Unclarified expectations can be potentially volatile. Second, communicate demographic realities. Let the folks know what is happening and why. Third, update your Constitution and Bylaws to preclude being vulnerable to unwarranted attacks.

4. Make sure you are insured. An umbrella liability policy is relatively inexpensive and can be a life-saver in the midst of threats. This can offer a measure of security against potential financial ruin.

5. Retain the services of a good attorney. Have them do a risk profile on you and your church when things are going well. This can minimize potential threats to your congregation. (I can refer you to an attorney who does this if you contact me). I know for myself, especially when the attacks began, attorney Larry Crain, an Associate with the ACLJ, was a God-send.

6. Retain the services of a good counselor. Fortunately, I am married to one of the best counselors I know. Still, a sound Christian Counselor can be invaluable. Keeping everything bottled up inside of you is a recipe for disaster. Get a professional listening ear to help you process what you are experiencing.

7. Do not leave until God says so. Too many ministers resign and run at the first sign of trouble. Stay put until God tells you otherwise.

8. Here are some specific things that helped me: a supportive wife and family, confiding in close friends, journaling daily, praying in specifics, and constantly remembering that God is ultimately in control.

9. Forgive. You do not have to forget, but the refusal to forgive will place you in a self-imposed prison and life is too short to waste it there. Forgiveness is a choice not an emotion.

10. Finally, remember Genesis 50:20 where Joseph told his brothers,"What men meant for evil, God meant for good." God can use adversity to prepare you for greater ministry if you will respond to it appropriately. Keep you eyes on Him and trust Him with your future!

Run to Win

Photo by Juan-Carlos Lagares

Last week, I wrote about running the Virginia 10-Miler road race and shared some observations. I'd like to continue that stream of thought in today's blog. 

One of my favorite PhD seminars was the Life and Letters of Paul taught by Professor Jack MacGorman. Besides giving great attention to exegeting the Pauline literature, we also gave attention to the incredibly complex cultural context in which Paul penned his epistles. Paul, no doubt was a sports fan and as such alluded to athletic contests for illustrative purposes. In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, he alludes to running and boxing specifically, and sports in general. He refers to the competition and uses it as a metaphor and analogy for the Christian life and ministry.

Paul opens this passage by noting the obvious, "Do you not know that all who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?" Then, he begins to make application: "run that you may win... exercise self-control...run with an aim (with intentionality)... box without beating the air (make your punches count)...discipline your body (make it your slave)...." All this Paul says is for the dual purpose of receiving the imperishable wreath (God's reward for faithful service) at God's judgment in the future, and remaining qualified to serve in the present. Even as great as Paul was, he was constantly concerned that he might live in such a way that he would not be disqualified for ministry. 

So what does that say to you and me? Here are three insights.

1. Because life is like a race, we need to run (live) in such a way that we are winners.  We can strive for the things that pass away or the things that matter for eternity. Paul says opt for the latter. By the way, Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you."

2.  If we are going to be winners, we must exercise self-control. Embracing self-   discipline, having an attitude of deferred gratification, learning how to resist and run from temptation, and refusing to let human desires get out of control are all important components.

3.  Being intentional in our lives, working to accomplish things that benefit people and honor God are all important. By the way, from my perspective, Christians in general and ministers particularly have only two assignments: we prepare people for death, and we equip people for life. We should be intentional with both. So, what do you intend to do?

Here is the bottom line. Don't waste your life. Run to win!

Top 5 Posts In the Past 12 Months

Today I’d like to revisit my most popular posts over the past year. The following posts resonated the most with my readers so I’d like to share them with you once again in case you missed them the first time. Please feel free to pass these along to a friend or co-worker who may need some encouragement today. 

7 Lessons On Conquering Adversity 

The Turtle On the Fence post

God’s Perspective on Newtown 

Tragedies to Transitions: 4 Take-aways from David 

7 Lessons I Learned from Watching the BCS Championship

This blog is a way for me to offer encouragement to those I’ve encountered over the years. What topics would you like to see addressed here in the future? I’d love to hear from you. 

7 Lessons on Conquering Adversity

       I have always been intrigued by the Biblical story of David and Goliath.  Most people, whether religious or not, are familiar with the metaphor if not the story itself which is found in I Samuel 17 in the Bible’s Old Testament.

       The abbreviated story line is essentially this: young shepherd brother takes food to older brothers who are fighting in Saul’s army; youth shepherd boy sees nasty giant who no one else will fight; young shepherd boy volunteers, goes to battle and wins; young shepherd boy becomes an overnight hero. Of course, the story is more complicated and, in fact is pregnant with insight on how to live life from a faith perspective.

       Most of us will never fight a real life giant; most of us, however, will face adversity. So, perhaps we could rename Goliath, the giant, Adversity and look closely at the text to discover lessons that will assist us in facing our Adversity. So, how do I face adversity and overcome? How do I face adversity and win? Here are seven principles that surface from the text. 

1. Keep your eyes on God and only glance at your circumstances. In the story of David and Goliath, David was the only one who maintained a vertical vision. Everyone else perceived reality from a strictly horizontal perspective.  Only David cultivated and lived with an awareness of the reality of the presence of God (Compare vv 26, 36-37, 45-46 with vv 10 and 24-25). 
2. More specifically, notice how faith can overcome and dissipate fear.  We tend to walk in fear when our perception of God is that He is small, or distant, or disinterested. In contrast, the more time we spend with God, the more realistic our perception of Him is. Our fear can be displaced by giving attention to God and His self-revelation in Scripture and in His Son. Consider verses 11, 24, 32, and 37 as a study of the relation between faith and fear. 
3. Notice that being a champion has its rewards (vs. 25-27). When the story opens, Goliath is a champion and David is a nobody. By the day's end David is the champion and Goliath is history. Is it worth it to pay the price to be a champion? Absolutely! I repeatedly tell students that "champions are made in the off-season." 
4. When criticized ask, “Is it true?” and deal with it; if it is not true just ignore it (see vs. 28-30). I love the response Eliab (the older brother) severely criticizes David. It says simply that David “turned away from him…” (v30) Criticism rooted in impure motives doesn't deserve our time! 
5. The battles of yesterday prepare us for victories tomorrow (vs. 34-37). Paraphrased, Saul asked David, “How can you fight that giant?” David’s response is, “I have fought and killed lions and bears; I can take the giant…this is nothing new.” Should we not be grateful for past and present battles? No doubt, they do prepare us for what we face in the future. 
6. When the chips are down, play your strengths (vs. 38-40). When Saul had David try on his armor, David simply responded, “I can’t use these, they are untested. I will use what I know.” In short, we must learn to use our own gifts, abilities and unique skills. The wise learn to play to their strengths. 
7. Live in such a way that the world knows God is real (vs. 41-51). In the whole story, David is the only one who acts as if God is real. When people watch us, do they conclude by our attitudes and actions that at least we live as if God is real?

So, here are some observations. I hope they help you overcome the adversity that you face! 

Blessings

J.S.